The end of February/beginning of March has been an overwhelming time in my writing life journey and I was ready to quit (again). I was reassessing my writing life, what I’m doing, and thought all the negative thoughts:
“I can’t do this.”
“This is too hard.”
“My entire focus is on gaining followers. How is that serving God? I might as well quit.”
“Maybe I misunderstood what God wanted me to do.”
“If God really wanted me to do this, He’d make it easier, bring me the followers I need, etc.”
“This doesn’t feel like I’m serving.”
“It’s hopeless.”
So, I cried out to God, “What should I do?” The answer was, “Step back. Reassess. Trust in Me.”
Okay. “Reassess.” Let’s see. What has He actually called me to do?
- Pray. Check.
- Write a book. Well–it’s a WIP. I haven’t had time to actually write because of working on my platform.
- Promote spending time with Him. Promote peace in the stillness. Again. I haven’t had time. Why don’t I have time? Because I’ve overextended myself (again). How did that happen? Because my focus has been on the task of meeting people instead of on serving people. Aha!
I love these exercises with God! When I include Him in my plans, it makes all the difference!!! Over the past week, we have been working out this reassessment. He’s sent me encouragement and inspiration. He’s helped me let go of the number of followers and focus on serving. Since I’m already committed to several “things,” I intend to see them through, but as they expire I’ll check in with God before volunteering for anything else.
Writing this out has been a little stressful; seeing that I again (and again…) have made decisions without Him and once again (and again…) have made the wrong decisions. I allowed Satan to whisper in my ear, “You can do this. It won’t require much of your time.” “If you want to succeed, you have to do this and that.” “You’re serving God with everything you’re doing. He’ll make it all happen.”
Words of encouragement seem like they’re all God sent. I assumed they meant I was doing the right thing, on the right track. I didn’t realize that the enemy used that encouragement to busy me–actually, to overload me. The encouragement drew me away from the tasks God has given me to do (2 Corinthians 11:3).
- Stop – Pause each morning before I start my day.
- Pray – Ask God “What do You want me to do today?”
- Listen – Wait for His answer.
It’s freeing to give everything up to God. Unfortunately, pride or forgetfulness always seem to creep in leading to bad decisions.
Trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5-6). I need to keep coming back to my life verse every moment of every day.